i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
