I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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