You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
