My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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