Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
