good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had to cum in my sink.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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