do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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