You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
