he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
