the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize