Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize