im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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