That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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