Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
