i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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