I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
