break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
