In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize