Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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