when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
