that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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