Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
