I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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