does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
