"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
BRING THE BAGELS
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
