I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
