You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I touched a dick in church today
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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