i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
