u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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