I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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