My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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