paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
