No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
