bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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