You just made me feel so damn special
look no pants
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize