at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
