So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
