i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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