I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
