I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
