Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
