Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
