just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's blow job season.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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