1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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