anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
