brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
