cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
