Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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