i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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