I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
