please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize