Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
