I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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