Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
White coat. Heels.
I am puke
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize