I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
