I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
