This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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