Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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