# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
