Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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