Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
