when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
